A 3am wake up call

I recently worked an overnight shift without getting rest prior to the start of my shift, it was a busy night, with almost 25 patients waiting in the waiting room.  About 3am I am wishing I can snuggle in my own bed with my husband.  I'm off to see what feels like my 100th patient, but in reality, only my 7th.  The diagnosis is intractable back pain, and reading the ED spread it said "only IV Dilaudid helps."   No clinician wants to hear these words whether it's 3 in the afternoon, let alone 3 in the morning. 

I learned a few lessons from this patient.  I listened to him, without judgement, and believed he was in real pain.  Watched him brace pain as I palpated his spine and paraspinal muscles, his eyes misting up when he thought about how he's unable to lift up his little boy anymore, and could see the frustration he has had with the numbers of doctors he's seen, but no firm diagnosis.  How quickly one can half-listen, counting patients as a drug seeker, but feel God gave me this patient to hold onto compassion.  I know I was another white coat in a long stream of clinicians he's encountered, but I hope he felt God listen and care about his pain. 

Lessons taken away:
1.  Listen without judgement and open-mind.
2.  Being compassionate isn't an option, no matter what time it is.
3.  Gratefulness for good health.